Do you have any advice for dominating a boy taller and much larger than yourself? I’ve seen you mention that your boy is taller than you. I’ve been in this this dynamic before with no problems, but my current long term boyfriend is 100% new to it and wanting to completely charge headfirst into this, and he is SO MUCH larger than myself and anyone I’ve been with. He gets into the headspace and is really interested, but we struggle sometimes because of the size difference. Please help 😅

First of all, I don’t think physical size or strength differences actually matter that much. There are plenty of ways to make him feel small or controlled without actually having to overpower him. But I see this question a lot, so I know it is a common thing people deal with.

I’m 5′8″, which is not exactly short. My boy is a little taller than me. Like, a few inches. So it’s not that difficult for us to overcome that difference. But the first guy I ever dommed was like 6′3″, so that was much more noticeable. Here are a couple things I’ve tried. Hope these help!

1. Make yourself taller

My poor boy has a thing for high heels, and he picked the domme with a closet full of flats. He has purchased 3 pairs of heels for me in the year we’ve been together and I’ve worn them like twice. But when we’re playing, they definitely come in handy.

2. Make him shorter

A lot of our scenes start with him kneeling, either on the floor or on the bed. Really, its the feeling he gets when he has to look up at you that creates the desired effect.

Once, with the big guy, I told him his head should not be above mine. He struggled to find a balance of standing at attention while bending over slightly and spreading his legs a little (it was kinda funny to watch, but he had a slight humiliation kink, so it worked).

3. Use restraints

Nothing like chains, cuffs, and rope to make someone feel powerless! For my boy, it doesn’t matter how he gets into that position, he is more focused on the feeling in the moment. He’ll behave or even help me get them on him. But if your guy is really looking for that authentic “forced” feeling, it might be a little trickier. I recommend an under-bed restraint system with velcro cuffs to get them on quickly. 

Maybe the two of you agree to a little game, like his legs get cuffed and you straddle him, and when you say go, he has a chance to start resisting and you have a chance to try to get his arms under control.

4. Expose him

Or at least make him feel exposed. Tying my boy spread eagle to the bed makes him feel that way. Telling him to spread his legs while I have him kneeling or standing in front of me does the same thing.

5. Make yourself stronger

Bro, do you even lift?

Keeping yourself healthy and fit does more than just make you look good. It makes you strong. Find a workout you enjoy and stick with it. I started hot yoga right around the time we met, and for the last year he has noticed me getting more toned and stronger. If I can hold Side Crow for a few more seconds, I can pick him up for a little longer.

6. Use physics

I like to start kissing my boy, slowly lead him over to the bed, and then just give him a little push. Gravity is your friend. It’s easy for the smallest of girls to pin his arms above his head when you can put your body weight into it.

7. Tell him what he’s feeling

Me: “Aren’t you a cute, helpless little thing. You love being my desperate little toy, don’t you? You love when I pin you down and take you.”

Him: **nods slightly and moans something incoherent**

A little dirty talk goes a long way. Figure out what turns him on (you don’t have to read his mind, just talk about it outside of a scene), then integrate it into play.

8. Pull his hair

Just gently grip at the nape of his neck and pull back so he does that cute thing where his eye close and his mouth falls open and his neck is exposed and he sighs and you can kiss his jawline up to his ear and make him moan a little as you whisper something sexy and…sorry, I got distracted.

Honestly, if you can get him into the headspace, that’s like 90% of the work. Once he’s there, he’s good.

Let us know if any of these work for you!
Anyone else have suggestions?