This is a tough subject to talk about, because the vast majority of what you see on the internet, especially here on Tumblr, is unrealistic, and misrepresented. So I will need to take some time here to explain what male chastity is, and what male chastity isn’t.
First all, its important to understand that male chastity does not have to be weird. So before you judge it, it’s healthy to have a look at some first hand real life accounts of people who have incorporated chastity into their relationship, and ask them how or if it improved their lives. You will find most would never go back to “ normal” because it works that well.
So lets take a good look at the concept behind male chastity. Basically, it’s a device worn by a male in the relationship, in which, encases his penis into a small cage that prevents his erections. Yes, its hygienic, and yes, he can still pee out of it without taking it off. Hygiene and peeing are not problems because the cage has enough holes in it to maintain cleanliness and make it breathable. So, since it prevents erections, he is unable to play with himself or masturbate, without his partners knowledge or consent.
Now this is not something you do to someone because they cheated on you, or because you don’t trust him not to cheat… If you have cheating issues in your relationship, you have bigger problems to worry about and chastity is not a solution…. communication is the solution. So do not associate chastity with trust issues, because that is NOT what it’s meant for and would do more harm than good. So what then is chastity good for?
First, you have to understand what a chastity device does to a man psychologically. Since he is a submissive male, a chastity device can represent to him, the ultimate form of submission. He is literally gifting his sex life to his partner, and giving them full control of when or if, they get sexual pleasure. So once he no longer has the key to that little device, and he can no longer get erections or play with himself without that key…. after a bit of time has passed, he will want out of the cage because his desire builds over time, and the cage enhances that feeling. Especially if his partner knows this, and teases him a little bit. Therefore, the one holding the key, will have his full attention and all of his energy will be directed towards her. So that little device, is a powerful psychological tool she can wield, and use to control him. Chastity typically represents, the end of the his fantasies and the beginning of hers. Which is something he discovers along the way, but that will be brought up in another lesson.
Second, after you’ve understood the psychological side, comes control. Since the chastity device has turned his desire, passion, attention, and energy toward his partner holding the key, she now has the opportunity to enforce her ways in the relationship, she has control in ways she never had before it. From little things, to big things. It’s really up to her, how far she wishes to go with it. But one thing she will notice, is that this level of control is intoxicating. Knowing he is in the device, and will do anything for her to get out, including focusing entirely on her sexual desires and not his, adds a whole new dimension to FLR. This is why so many couples never go back. It energizes the submissive male, and brings great pleasure to his partner, including the usual chores and errands life brings getting done while she relaxes… if that’s what she wants.
Now this does not mean that he doesn’t get to have sex anymore. She has the power to unlock him any time she wants, and enjoy regular intercourse if she pleases. There really are no rules in how this can work, and this is why its important not to look at the online version of it. What we see online generally depicts men in chastity to be weak and worthless, typically cuckolded, and not allowed intercourse. This is simply ONE way of using chastity. But its really not realistic when you have a life to live. Chastity can be a mild and fun experience, or it can be a more serious one…. or anything in between. It doesn’t even have to be kinky. It could simply be about control. Perhaps a couple just wants a normal sex life, except he gets locked up until the next time, tomorrow, or the next day. It could be that simple. But the fact that he can’t play between now and the next time, is what makes it fun and exciting. Others, might take a more serious role, where he only gets unlocked once a week or once a month. Meanwhile, sex happens often, just with him locked, typically through oral or the use of a strap-on used by him over top of his cage, this can make a man cry, but he’ll love it as much as you do.
Since the denial builds up over time, the longer he is locked, the more he will typically enjoy it, even if he doesn’t admit it. What most men will never tell you, is that they actually like the feeling of being horny. Most men will deny this, because they have never been horny long enough to let it take over their body. Since chastity gives them no choice, eventually they surrender to their horny desire, and come to love it. Of course, he still wants a release, but if you ask him honestly, after a few long term chastity episodes, he’s going to give you a surprising answer. He’s going to tell you that after he has had his climax, he misses feeling the desire, it makes him feel empty, isolated even and more importantly, less desire to submit. That is, only until enough time has passed, to build it up again, usually within a few hours he’s starts to feel it coming back.
Chastity benefits both him and her. It’s also a major turn on for him because of the loss of control, this is typically what makes males suggest it in the first place. The desire to submit in a submissive male, isn’t something that can be changed, it’s a core aspect of his being that he is desperate to express to the right woman. He can suppress it, he can hide it, but he cannot destroy it. This giving up control to her, is often how women are introduced to chastity. However, once she gets past the weirdness factor, the control makes all of her dreams come true, even if they’re not exactly his dreams. As she grows in confidence, and chastity becomes a normal aspect of the relationship, she gets more explorative and often discovers her own sexual truths, like his core need to submit, she discovers her core need to dominate, and this makes for a very interesting relationship dynamic. As both partners no longer have to hide who they really are, as a result, it can bring them extremely close together. This can create a relationship that exists on levels beyond anything they have ever experience before, a human connection deeper than they imagined with clearly defined roles. The relationship itself can be a spiritual experience, with him deep in subspace, and her on cloud 9. More and more couples are discovering the benefits of male chastity.
Chastity gives the female the ultimate control in a female led relationship. It helps them both discover their roles and it keeps him focused on her pleasure, needs, wants, and desires. In previous lessons I talked about male pleasure, and male desire, and chastity caters to both, because he gets most of his pleasure simply through being horny. Chastity enhances this feeling 10 fold, creating an even stronger desire to submit and please. It’s bit of a catch 22, which she can use and benefit to her advantage making both of them more happy and fulfilled in the process. So in that respect, chastity can actually be one of the greatest acts of love, dominance, and submission within an FLR. It can symbolize marriage much more than a ring on a finger can. That’s what makes it so powerful, and life changing, and why most never go back to the old way.
I relate to this. It’s why I asked her if she’d accept permanent control over me stroking my cock last year. It’s why she immediately expanded and simplified her ownership to all forms of self-pleasuring. She was proud and honored to accept indefinite control over my orgasms. And we’re a year into happily ever after.
Note how this says nothing about whips, chains, etc.