Male Chastity. Lesson 19

simmer-until:

femaleleduniversity:

This is a tough subject to talk about, because the vast majority of what you see on the internet, especially here on Tumblr, is unrealistic, and misrepresented. So I will need to take some time here to explain what male chastity is, and what male chastity isn’t.

First all, its important to understand that male chastity does not have to be weird. So before you judge it, it’s healthy to have a look at some first hand real life accounts of people who have incorporated chastity into their relationship, and ask them how or if it improved their lives. You will find most would never go back to “ normal” because it works that well.  

So lets take a good look at the concept behind male chastity.  Basically, it’s a device worn by a male in the relationship, in which, encases his penis into a small cage that prevents his erections. Yes, its hygienic, and yes, he can still pee out of it without taking it off. Hygiene and peeing are not problems because the cage has enough holes in it to maintain cleanliness and make it breathable. So, since it prevents erections, he is unable to play with himself or masturbate, without his partners knowledge or consent.  

Now this is not something you do to someone because they cheated on you, or because you don’t trust him not to cheat… If you have cheating issues in your relationship, you have bigger problems to worry about and chastity is not a solution…. communication is the solution. So do not associate chastity with trust issues, because that is NOT what it’s meant for and would do more harm than good. So what then is chastity good for?

First, you have to understand what a chastity device does to a man psychologically. Since he is a submissive male, a chastity device can represent to him, the ultimate form of submission. He is literally gifting his sex life to his partner, and giving them full control of when or if, they get sexual pleasure. So once he no longer has the key to that little device, and he can no longer get erections or play with himself without that key…. after a bit of time has passed, he will want out of the cage because his desire builds over time, and the cage enhances that feeling. Especially if his partner knows this, and teases him a little bit. Therefore, the one holding the key, will have his full attention and all of his energy will be directed towards her. So that little device, is a powerful psychological tool she can wield, and use to control him.  Chastity typically represents, the end of the his fantasies and the beginning of hers.  Which is something he discovers along the way, but that will be brought up in another lesson.

Second, after you’ve understood the psychological side, comes control.  Since the chastity device has turned his desire, passion, attention, and energy toward his partner holding the key, she now has the opportunity to enforce her ways in the relationship, she has control in ways she never had before it. From little things, to big things. It’s really up to her, how far she wishes to go with it. But one thing she will notice, is that this level of control is intoxicating.  Knowing he is in the device, and will do anything for her to get out, including focusing entirely on her sexual desires and not his, adds a whole new dimension to FLR.  This is why so many couples never go back.  It energizes the submissive male, and brings great pleasure to his partner, including the usual chores and errands life brings getting done while she relaxes… if that’s what she wants.

Now this does not mean that he doesn’t get to have sex anymore. She has the power to unlock him any time she wants, and enjoy regular intercourse if she pleases.  There really are no rules in how this can work, and this is why its important not to look at the online version of it.  What we see online generally depicts men in chastity to be weak and worthless, typically cuckolded, and not allowed intercourse. This is simply ONE  way of using chastity. But its really not realistic when you have a life to live.  Chastity can be a mild and fun experience, or it can be a more serious one…. or anything in between. It doesn’t even have to be kinky. It could simply be about control.  Perhaps a couple just wants a normal sex life, except he gets locked up until the next time, tomorrow, or the next day. It could be that simple.  But the fact that he can’t play between now and the next time, is what makes it fun and exciting.  Others, might take a more serious role, where he only gets unlocked once a week or once a month. Meanwhile, sex happens often, just with him locked, typically through oral or the use of a strap-on used by him over top of his cage, this can make a man cry, but he’ll love it as much as you do.

Since the denial builds up over time, the longer he is locked, the more he will typically enjoy it, even if he doesn’t admit it.  What most men will never tell you, is that they actually like the feeling of being horny. Most men will deny this, because they have never been horny long enough to let it take over their body. Since chastity gives them no choice, eventually they surrender to their horny desire, and come to love it. Of course, he still wants a release, but if you ask him honestly, after a few long term chastity episodes, he’s going to give you a surprising answer.  He’s going to tell you that after he has had his climax, he misses feeling the desire, it makes him feel empty, isolated even and more importantly, less desire to submit.  That is, only until enough time has passed, to build it up again, usually within a few hours he’s starts to feel it coming back.

Chastity benefits both him and her.  It’s also a major turn on for him because of the loss of control, this is typically what makes males suggest it in the first place.  The desire to submit in a submissive male, isn’t something that can be changed, it’s a core aspect of his being that he is desperate to express to the right woman. He can suppress it, he can hide it, but he cannot destroy it.   This giving up control to her, is often how women are introduced to chastity.  However, once she gets past the weirdness factor, the control makes all of her dreams come true, even if they’re not exactly his dreams.  As she grows in confidence, and chastity becomes a normal aspect of the relationship, she gets more explorative and often discovers her own sexual truths, like his core need to submit, she discovers her core need to dominate, and this makes for a very interesting relationship dynamic. As both partners no longer have to hide who they really are, as a result, it can bring them extremely close together.  This can create a relationship that exists on levels beyond anything they have ever experience before, a human connection deeper than they imagined with clearly defined roles. The relationship itself can be a spiritual experience, with him deep in subspace, and her on cloud 9.  More and more couples are discovering the benefits of male chastity.

Chastity gives the female the ultimate control in a female led relationship. It helps them both discover their roles and it keeps him focused on her pleasure, needs, wants, and desires. In previous lessons I talked about male pleasure, and male desire, and chastity caters to both, because he gets most of his pleasure simply through being horny. Chastity enhances this feeling 10 fold, creating an even stronger desire to submit and please. It’s bit of a catch 22, which she can use and benefit to her advantage making both of them more happy and fulfilled in the process. So in that respect, chastity can actually be one of the greatest acts of love, dominance, and submission within an FLR. It can symbolize marriage much more than a ring on a finger can. That’s what makes it so powerful, and life changing, and why most never go back to the old way.

I relate to this. It’s why I asked her if she’d accept permanent control over me stroking my cock last year. It’s why she immediately expanded and simplified her ownership to all forms of self-pleasuring. She was proud and honored to accept indefinite control over my orgasms. And we’re a year into happily ever after.

Note how this says nothing about whips, chains, etc.

mistresslucidavis: teazdndenied: This was always a watershed…

mistresslucidavis:

teazdndenied:

This was always a watershed moment of sorts for Michelle with a guy. Would he be able to last? Would he be able to withstand the indescribable pleasures her tight, soft, creamy pussy could offer him? Would he willingly suffer the ultimate denial for her?….. for her pleasure?

She’d been working Craig toward this moment now for weeks. First, it was long, sensual evenings when he needed to fight his body’s desperate urges to surrender to her soft hand…. gently stroking him for hours…. learning to accept that now his orgasms would happen only when Michelle allowed them, and not when he felt that he needed them.

Then, when he began to understand and accept what she expected of him, Michelle tested him even further… beginning to also tantalize his quivering cock with long, slow licks of her tongue…. moist, lingering kisses from her lips…. and the maddening sensual suction of her soft, warm mouth. Michelle would make him last for hours…. then ultimately, days… without offering him release…. seeing how willing he was to be the sort of man she needed him to be.

Always, Craig came back for more….. so captivated, ensnared and mesmerized by her that he was willing….. eager…. to endure whatever Michelle asked of him. Tonight though, would be by far his greatest test yet.

Now, with her hips astride his…. her soft pussy capturing Craig’s desperately swollen cock… she rode him at her pace…. the way that she wanted…. using him for her pleasure. Feeling her orgasm approaching she purred sweet words of assurance and encouragement to him.

“Baby yesss….. sooo good…. you’re doing so well….. don’t move baby, don’t move…. I’m almost there….. “

And when her crashing waves of pleasure finally subsided and Michelle gently, carefully lifted herself off of his still swollen…. still desperate…. still aching for release cock… she couldn’t help but smile at the agonized frustration in his moan when Craig felt his quivering cock being released back in to the cool air.

She collapsed down over him… her soft, hot breasts pressing against his chest… her lips touching his ear. In a soft, sultry voice Michelle purred, “Mmm, baby that was sooo good. Just relax for a few minutes….. in a little bit, we’re gonna do that again.”

This is everything I want and more… ??

Craving The Cage

simmer-until:

I’ve been locked in chastity for 84 of the last 101 days. I truly crave the feeling now. I kissed her sweetly and thanked her for choosing to lock me in my snuggest little Contender cage. This was after a few intense edges for me, and a slow touch-less pouring out. It was a perfect ruin that kept me rock hard. I watched myself spill several seconds after her last touch. Her hand was gently squeezing my balls as she spooned me. We struggled to get me back into my cage. The tight cage audibly popped over my bulging glans. It took a while for my shaft to relax and get half soft so she could press fit the cage and fasten it to the tight base ring. But she looked so pleased with herself afterwards.

She was impressed. She was literally glowing at her own skills and general awesomeness. She was doing a cute little smug dance after I was all caged up. She says that tease and denial keeps me “happy”, and my hard edges and orgasm-less spills keep me “healthy”.

One of my mentors doesn’t like chastity belts because she wants that continual submission that chastity devices take away, and my thought was “… but it’s hot!”

As I read @simmer-until I realize that if you accept that there are safewords, that continual submission can come easier yet in some ways is more profound.

minasbitch: So it has been one week into permanent chastity and…

minasbitch:

So it has been one week into permanent chastity and there have been so many thoughts running through my head! There have been so many questions, comments, congratulations, and also a general concern about what must be my mandatory MRI that people assume I will need. Thanks for the outpouring of support! 🙂

I thought I would share a bit more about our relationship and how that works with the permanent chastity. There is a general question I get a lot of;

“If you are permanently locked how will your keyholder control you?”

In a typical keyheld relationship the control is exerted through the key. So if this were the case then it would kill the relationship dynamic. E.g. If you do this I will let you out and give you a ruined orgasm. We are married and in a Master slave dynamic relationship. So she asserts control in anyway she deems fit. Sometimes through rewards, sometimes through punishments. So although it was sometimes fun for her to hold the key over me it was not integral to our interaction and never her style anyways. One of her favorite things, reveling and laughing at me in a predicament, she can definitely still enjoy as it is one hell of a predicament!

So how does permanent chastity work for the MS dynamic?

Being in chastity keeps me in a submissive, slave headspace. Normally when I would orgasm I lose the headspace, get sub drop, be depressed, and not be nice in general. Then it takes a couple of weeks for all the chemicals in the brain to build back up and then I am back in the right headspace that she wants.

So she has decided that I will not orgasm anymore.

From my perspective what is scary is that as I get deeper into the submissive headspace and the more of a slave/painslut I become, that eventually there would normally be an orgasm and a release. Now when that thought is crossing through my head, I realize there is no escape or release by orgasm of these submissive feelings. Which of course just sends me deeper into the slave mindset.

I have never felt more connected and happy in our MS lifestyle than I have since we made the chastity device permanent!

Congratulations!

Permanent chastity isn’t for me IRL but wow it is a very hot idea!

cplteasedenial: A Monster has been Created Sometimes the dick…

cplteasedenial:

A Monster has been Created

Sometimes the dick is so distracted or uninterested that it shrinks so small, even to the point of leaving gaps in the end of this pretty short, though not the shortest, steel cage. A tighter fit is best, but if it’s too tight the dick bulges through too easily and gets painfully pinched, causing embarrassing, often public, crotch adjustments. But Suzy had it swelling yesterday…

Because yesterday I scheduled a physical exam. I have a new doctor, and I was wondering out loud to Suzy if this doctor was going to perform a digital prostate exam, because this new doctor is female. Then I said to Suzy, hey, if she does, I had better cum before that so the doctor doesn’t think I have a prostate issue from it being full. Suzy thought this was hilarious and laughed uproariously! She said, “it will only be 11 days since you last came… if it was 11 weeks you might have a case. Too bad and nice try… you’re not cumming any time soon.” And then went on laughing. I also thought to myself, how would I explain my swollen prostate to a female doctor? But with Suzy I was taken aback… what have I created? Months ago I had to convince her it was not cruel to deny my orgasms, that it was what I desired, and have gone on at length about how I should cum less and less, perhaps not at all. Now it appears she has taken these subbie wishes to heart, and is even enjoying teasing and denying me so much that I couldn’t take control back, even if I wanted to! That got my little subbie stomach all knotted up!

Tuesday, October 3, 2017, 2 days since last full orgasm.